How do you have sex with a double-sided dildo?

When I think of a double-sided dildo (which sounds about right, a dildo with two heads that allows two people on either end to have sex with each other), I think of "gag gifts" or "why?" Not because they don't function or make sense, but because I don't know anyone who has looked at one of them for the first time and thought, oh yeah, that's not only easy to use, but it would be instantly pleasurable for both partners! The double-sided dildo, as far as I know, requires a certain amount of Next Level skill because you're both responsible for putting the thing in your vagina (or asshole) and keeping a rhythm that seems similar to a game of tug of war, but with a plastic dildo that looks like a bigger version of a water snake toy.

My gay friends have never openly mentioned their love of double dong in my company, but it's entirely possible they've never used it, or maybe it's just the kind of thing you don't talk about while sipping pinot and watching Girls? I don't know, so I decided to ask a few women directly, rather than wait for the magical moment when they suddenly bring it up because they've been thinking about it a lot lately.

Adira, 43, said she had always been interested in double-sided dildos but felt they weren't for her because she found that "the products on the market are made for people who have more internal space than I do" because she has some problems with her pelvic floor. Even if I wanted to go for it [with a double-sided dildo] anyway, the pain during and afterwards wasn't worth it," she said. But I really like scissors and I want to take it to the next level, so I'm hoping someone will start doing trumpets!" Which seems fair to me, since the photo above looks like something you'd give someone as a joke on their 50th birthday.

Cassie, 30, had a similar opinion, saying she thought they were "horrible" because a scene she saw in Requiem for a Dream involved a double-sided dildo that stuck with her for life. Both of these reasons explain why few of my gay friends have had much experience, but the experienced women I have found are happy to talk about it.

Here are some tips those women were able to give me to help you navigate the fun times of a double-sided dildo with (more) ease.

Start doing kegels, like, yesterday. 32-year-old Suzanne, co-owner of and a dildo connoisseur, says modern double-sided dildos sex toys like the Tantus FeelDoe have an ergonomic design that makes it easier to stay inside you, but all double-sided dildo use really benefits from having strong pelvic floor muscles. She recommends Kegel eggs to keep your PC muscles in good shape for DSD action.

2. Size matters! Sex educator Taylor J. Mays says to keep length in mind when shopping for a double-sided dildo." A longer one can reduce the risk of STD transmission (or infection if you use it on its own ends) because there will be less genital-to-genital contact, fluid passing from one partner to the other, or toys going from your ass to your vagina. The extra few inches in between can make a big difference!"

3. think about your dream oyster. As with any purchase, consider what you're buying it for before you throw down your money, says Mays." Do you want a penis that looks like it could be yours? If so, what does your dream penis look like?" Do you want a flesh-colored one that looks realistic? Or would your dream penis be a glittery, totally unrealistic neon color?

4. probably don't use it for a one-night stand, because the potential for embarrassment is very real. Cassie says she and her wife have been together for a long time, so they have no problem with sexual awkwardness, like "if one or both of you are super close, that stupid thing slips out." But that's hard to do with your Tinder date, who you think goes by the name Jan?

5. you don't need to use a harness - in fact, if you're a beginner, it's probably best not to use a harness. Cassie likes to use a harness because she finds that the dildo has a tendency to slip out in certain spots, especially if you're really struggling with it (which you always are, because it's always hard. Zing!) But Amanda Scheiff Gardens' marketing and media manager, 25, says harnesses are entirely a personal preference." For those who have less experience with dildos, or just want a more intimate experience, using a DSD without a harness is often a better option." This makes sense, as there are few things more intimate than a scissor massage with a dildo that only goes back and forth through the force of your pelvic floor. male masterbator